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Dawn Meyers
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Dawn Meyers   My Press Releases

An Update For Until Someone Told Us Different

Published on 1/24/2017
For additional information  Click Here

Time for an update for that meeting I was telling you all about. The only people in this meeting were my son's teacher, the school's behaviorist, the occupational therapist. I also believe the speech therapist was there but not really sure since this meeting made me walk out of there feeling like the worst parent in the world. It is putting me in a bad situation. Making me fall back into a depression.

I need to keep going and writing about how I feel. The year I was in a real bad depression I never would be able to write about it. I have a difficult challenge with my son and people that don't live it have no idea what we all do here for our son.

You all know that I am a good mom. I've been online here for 6 years displaying our lives. We have been trying to get services for years and we always got stuck in the cracks. We were promised the sky and then got nothing and somehow this is all my fault because I didn't fight enough. Come on people I have a hard enough life. If I go through the process and get denied twice in every year I am just going to go through our lives the best we can.

These women who only see my son for maybe an hour a week told me that the problems that he is having are an attention getting behaviors.

I said are you serious. No way this is sensory. That boy gets more attention than anyone I know. He gets so much attention we thought it might have an effect on his older brother. But he turned out just fine.

He understands what we go through every day. But it isn't as bad as some parents have it. That is why I can't understand why the Department of Family and Youth Services was involved. Our sons are 17 and 16. I said I would have welcomed you all years ago when my son was doing death defying stunts almost daily.

But he is calmer now and he is working toward getting rid of his symptoms. We have a challenge with his weight and it is because he is a carbohydrate eater. He is finally eating other foods and we were the ones who worked on this with him. It was a struggle but we got him eating some various types of foods and also chewing vitamins. We walk as often as we can and we bought exercise equipment for him. It takes up a lot of room in our house but we are happy that it is there for him.

When he was diagnosed we had a man who was a real good friend of the family buy him a sensory room with a vestibular swing a merry go round and a barrel. We gave up our living room and set all this equipment up in there for him. When we moved we made sure his bedroom was big enough for this equipment. We finally moved somewhere where we could not set it up but we made sure we had different things to use.

I don't understand how I could give my son any more attention than I am giving him. We all do what we can and it is a lot of our time spent. Anytime our son asks for engagement from us we are there and we do more. Autistic people usually don't like to be touched or hugged and kissed but I never gave up on the hugs and kisses and was always making sure we would involve him in pressure and massages. He now loves to get hugs and kisses and will even throw us a kiss. We never gave up on showing him, love.

He would turn away and push us away and would also make sure he didn't get any food he didn't want near his mouth. We would get scratched and sometimes bit and slapped and our walls in our house did not fair well against him. He barely does this anymore. We are always helping Parker get through his day and going to bed happy and safe.

We asked for Occupational Therapy to be put back in school because we believe that he has a sensory problem because he likes to pour water on him and walk around wet. They say it's because he wants more attention. My friends and family say you don't sleep as it is. What else can I do? They refused to put Occupational back in school and told me I had to get a behavior therapist to come to my home. It's been a month now and all I saw was one person that asked me some questions but DYFS has been back twice. The goal here was to get the services for Parker but so far it seems that all that is being done here is questioning us as parents. Although they say they are saying we are doing anything wrong they sure made me feel like the worst parent in the world.

There will be a service put in place for us that includes counseling and family budgeting. I don't see how this is helping Parker. Before Parker even gets services in place we have had an investigator here again checking what is going on with my family. Asking us horrific questions and even asking my 17-year-old. I already told them he was just accepted to college. He is a straight A+ student in computer science and has over a 3.5 grade point average and just took his SAT's for the second time. This is all weighing on him knowing that people are coming to our home and intruding in our lives that have nothing wrong with it now.

My son sat there at that meeting with us and listened to the way these women talked to his Mom. He already knows how hard I work and they are telling me I need to do more. I also will have to be available for anytime someone wants to come to my house and look at my fridge and cabinets and check if my toilets work. Ask if we do drugs drink alcohol, have weapons in the house, or domestic violence. They ask these questions to my 17-year-old son too.

When the State came to my house on December 20, 2016, my house was a bit messy and not too much. But I spend time taking care of my family first. I wake up in the morning and get my kids off to school. My oldest is out the door for the bus at 6:30 am. Parker gets on the bus at 7:50. I walk around and clean up messes from the night before and take out the trash and then I spend 10 minutes in every room. I don't own a dishwasher but I do have a washer and dryer. We don't even own an oven because Parker had caught an oven on fire at 3 am at another place we lived. I am grateful for my washer and dryer because when my kids were younger I had to go to the laundromat all the time. That took time away from being home and it was harder to keep up with everything. It was a little messy because it was almost Christmas and we had presents for family members scattered through the house on tables and chairs getting ready to wrap them all and my dishes weren't done. I do have a house cleaner that helps me a couple times a week and she was busy taking important tests in college that week.

We also run a business we started 2 years ago out of our home with over 300 work orders a week and we take care of workers that are given orders and routed to their destinations. The orders need to be completed correctly and on time and uploaded to clients in California, Ohio, and Michigan every day and night. I help out when I can because I also work here online and my husband wants me to succeed at this because I've been working so long and hard to learn this. I also have work to do at home to keep my place clean and now it has to be cleaner than ever because I never know when someone is coming.

I don't know when we will have services start for Parker so far there has been 2 people here to get things going but been almost a month now and no one has come except for the lady that says they are there to help me with services for my family. They are not services they are just a way to keep an eye on you. For no reason at all. When they came here they said they were investigating abuse and neglect and told me on the phone the very next day that those charges have been dropped but she wants to put some services in place for us that will help us a lot. I don't see how. I really think it is a way of watching us and they will ruin everything we have been working for by coming here a couple times a week. I even hear the counselor stays at your house for hours and watches what you do with your day.

I just want to know when people are going to understand what Autism is and what it does to a family. What a family gives up to make sure their kids are happy and safe. I could go on forever and ever and I may write a book. I may even be able to make a book with all my blogs and I know there are people out there that feel the same as I. I also had dear friends in the Autism community have the State called on them. It is devastating and I don't know what to do.

I often cry now because those women that know nothing about us and have never been to our house made me feel less of a mom and a person. Making me question myself and what I am doing and making me feel like I should give up on our dream of being wealthy. We only want to make sure we have the funds needed to pay for college for our son and to do whatever it takes to make our sons feel safe and secure so Parker's older brother will never have to worry about taking care of him when we are gone.

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