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John Kespert
Member Since: 12/28/2012
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John Kespert   My Press Releases

Splish Splash I Was Taking A Bath

Published on 11/18/2015
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Splish Splash I Was Taking A Bath

    I guess I was about 3 or 4 years old at the time. When it was bath time, my Mom still made sure the water was the right temperature, shampooed my hair, and made sure I put some soap on the washcloth. Then, because I was old enough and the water wasn't deep enough for me to accidentally drown myself, she left me do go to other things while I finished washing up and had time to play with my floating bath toys. She knew I would call her when the water became too cool.


     For a long time everything went as planned. But then one day, when I called to say I was ready to get out, she returned to find the bathroom floor quite wet. Yes, very wet. The same thing happened every other time after that. When she asked how I'd gotten all that water onto the floor I'd shrug my shoulders and say, “I dunno.” Actually I kinda did know but I didn't think she'd understand.

    You see, at a certain age children figure out that grown-ups aren't able to understand the perfect logic of our explaining some things to them. I thought that might be the case in this situation.

   Yes, there was a lot of water on the bathroom floor. Why wouldn't there be so much water there after a little boy rubs the bar of soap on his fanny, sits up on the edge of the tub, and then slides down the slightly sloped side of the tub into the water? My oh my, did that ever make for a lot of fun and a super-duper great big SPLASH!

    One slide and splash was never enough. I'd do it again and again until either the water got too cool or too shallow to make it fun to do anymore. So that's when I'd call my Mom to let her know I was ready to come out. And she'd come in to find a smiling little boy and a very wet bathroom floor.

    That's not quite the end of this little account of my bath time activities. You see, one warm summer day when the water in the tub got too shallow to make sliding down into it any fun, I decided not to call my Mom to let her know I was ready to come out. I climbed out all by myself.

    I guess I could have just walked to whatever room my Mom was in at the time and let her know I was done with my bath. But, no, I didn't want to "bother" her (according to my logic at the time). It was a warm day, so instead I walked out to the back door, down the steps, and went outside.

    My Mom did find out rather quickly that I had finished taking my bath. The phone rang. My Mom answered and one of the other moms in the neighborhood asked her, “Did you know your little boy is walking down the street naked?”

    “John,” I heard her shout as she came running down the front stairs of our house. “You come back here right now, young man!”

    I stopped. I turned around. Somehow I got the impession she wasn't too happy with what I'd done. She quickly reached me, picked me up, and carried me back into the house, telling me, “You don't go out of the house without your clothes on, John Andrew Kespert!” She didn't really have to use my whole name to let me know she meant business. By her tone of voice, I'd figured that out already. And I never did go outside naked again.

    I hope you enjoyed this little account from my childhood. There are several more here on IBO Toolbox. Some of them are included in my “Tale of a Grade School Drop-out” series which you can find by going to these links:  Part. 1, Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6, and Part 7.

   If you or anyone you know is looking for a way to earn some extra money online, I invite you to take a look at the program I am using to do that. Just click the banner below.



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